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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?